Ask-the-coach: Am I over-planning my life?

coaching for women | AnnDaly.comA reader writes:

“I’m having a hard time balancing the spiritual wisdom of letting go of expectations and letting my life unfold one day at a time with the practical idea that I need to strategize, plan and prioritize so that I can accomplish my goals and create the life I want. How do I do both?”

Well, dear reader, you’re having a hard time because the poise that you seek and describe (so eloquently) is a hard thing to accomplish. Most of us are much better at one side of the equation than the other, either at pushing or yielding.

Creating the life you want requires both skills. You can push all you want, but life will happen. And yielding will only get you so far.

The temptation is to go with what you’re better at. Instead, remember that pushing and yielding are two sides of the same coin. This sounds counter-intuitive, but they will support each other rather than cancel each other out.

Let me offer you a physical image. Consider how you literally move from here to there. If you control and tense your legs so hard that you lock your knees, then you ain’t going nowhere. Conversely, if you’re too loosey-goosey, you’ll fall right on your butt.

We move forward with the most east when we are both grounded and flexible: when we’re committed to our goals and we’re open to new opportunities for achieving them.

Some tips:

1. Don’t create so many goals that there is no room for new ones.

2. Do something different or go somewhere new at least once a week.

3. Expand your media habits as a way to further expand your horizons.

4. Keep a list of “flutters”: new ideas that vaguely excite you.

5. Every quarter, compare your goals list and your flutters list. Re-prioritize accordingly.

6.  Remember that old Girl Scout song: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.”

(One more week to sign up for my New Year/New Client discount! Email me for details.)

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