August 2009 Archives

Re-Story Your Life

At my last "Return to Clarity" mini-retreat, one participant told the group about a workshop she had taken some years ago now. "At first, it wasn't what I expected," she explained. "But then, it changed my life forever."

 

We asked the obvious question: Who taught that workshop???

 

The answer: Jeanne Guy, of course!

 

Jeanne's motto: "If you want a better life, it's time to write a better story."

 

Her workshop, "The Power of Your Story: When You're Ready to Re-Story Your Life," is beginning on Sept 9. Click here for more details.

In case you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Jeanne, here's a quick introduction:

 

What do you mean that I can "re-story my life"?

The question is, what is being born in you right now? Through journal writing, you can explore, re-examine, re-imagine, rethink, and reframe your life - your story - so you can improve your life and be in synch with who you are becoming. You can therefore, by example, improve others' lives through the process of re-storying your own life. The clearer our thoughts, the better our understanding of who we are now and the better our vision of who we choose to become. If you want a better life, it's time to write a better story.

Do I need to be a good writer to accomplish that re-storying?

No. Re-storying your life means taking a look at your life, your story, and reframing it, through the process of journal writing. Journal writing is not about being a good writer; journaling is not meant to be "writing." Writing is simply the tool. It's to open up a dialogue with your Wise Voice, who could care less about your writing and more about you knowing who you already are.

What is the power that comes from this process?

Christina Baldwin, author and journal writing guru, said it best: "The point of journal writing is to make our own life better . . . while we live it." Taking responsibility for and being accountable for your story is powerful; knowing who you are, discovering and giving the gift of who you are, is powerful.

How has this process worked in your life?

Over the last 15 years, this process has both awakened me to my gifts and made me realize life itself is a daily practice; there is no end to becoming. It has created connection, depth, opportunities, possibilities, growth, clarity, love and joy unanticipated.

Anything else you'd like to add?

If there was ever a time, if there was ever a call for us to know and be who we really are, it is now. There is no better time than now for us to re-story our lives. Because, by sharing our stories, we can re-story the world. As an African proverb says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Top 3 Do-Over! Mistakes

It's so exciting to see women reinventing themselves with a frequency and intensity that our mothers' generation would never have imagined. But it's still a challenge to take a Do-Over! in any part of your life. If you're in the process, here are the top 3 mistakes I see when I am coaching women-in-transition:

1.  Poor Planning: You can't wing a Do-Over! Big or small, it needs to be thought-through ahead of time with at least the same precision as you plan a meal (think Julia Child). Not only do you need to consider the pragmatics of change, but you also need to consider how you will handle the push-back you're likely to get from your family, friends, or co-workers.

2. Confused Purpose: Wouldn't it be lovely if we all had a big idea for changing the world and started our own non-profit to implement it? But the reality is, not everyone has to change the world. Purpose isn't just about doing something. It's also about being something. As Victor Frankl argued, we can endow our lives with meaning by merely accepting our circumstances with dignity. Meaning isn't something we find; it's something we make. Frankl outlined four ways that we can give our lives meaning: accomplishment, love, nature, art/culture. Or, if you follow Joseph Campbell's way of looking at life, it's about feeling alive. So don't insist on finding a grand purpose that isn't yours because you think you "should." Make it authentic.

3.  Insufficient Passion: Similarly, you've got to find what's really yours to love, even if the rest of the world doesn't value it. No one gave a hoot about French cooking in America before Julia Child decided to share her passion for it. A Do-Over! challenges us to the core, so you need to have passion in abundance to get through the rough patches.

Tell me, what have been your biggest Do-Over! challenges? Make a comment below.

Are You a Rising Star?

In the old days, women (and men) clung to a single corporate ladder, hoping to make it as far up those rungs as possible. But, according to a recent ForbesWoman article, today's ambitious women are remapping their careers.

Carol Hymowitz explains:

Instead of sticking with one employer and patiently waiting for promotions that advance them just one management rung at a time, women are snagging the top jobs in business, government and philanthropy by making daring and unconventional moves. By zigzagging across companies, industries and between the public and private sectors, they are gaining a breadth of experience and making big leaps with each change.

If you're a rising star, take heed. The difference between you and an almost-ran is this kind of strategic, long-term perspective. It's not enough to hope and believe and trust that a boss or mentor will usher you through the ranks of your current place of business. It's up to you to define the skill sets and cross-industry experiences you'll need to hit your ultimate career goal and to plot the best (even if unconventional or risky) options for acquiring them.

The gold goes to the bold.

Please . . . Steal This Style!

I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I abdicated style for comfort. The photographs from the spring fling in Brazil were not pretty. What was I thinking with that flouncy blue-flowered top? I hate florals, and I hate flounce. But I was hoping, as mom used to say, to "hide a multitude of sins."

Sherrie Mathieson comes to the rescue with her bright, hip book Steal This Style: How Moms and Daughters Swap Wardrobe Secrets. It shows us how to take our cues from the younger set without looking like pathetic oldsters trying to pass for youngsters.

Mathieson is a nationally known style consultant. She has costumed and styled Academy Award-winning actors, rock stars, and athletes all over the country. She keeps up a private style consulting practice as well.

Her book is built around before-and-after photos, the former of a mom and the latter of that same mom with her daughter. The transformations are jaw-dropping. But what's even more extraordinary is that they're not that complicated.

My response to Sherrie's book is the same as I have with great conceptual art. I am awed by the brilliant simplicity of the gesture.

I think that this is my favorite before-and-after, because, well, this pretty much could be me on the weekends:

Why We Love Julia Child

What's NOT to love about Julia? She was smart, talented, irrepressible, charming, adventurous, and larger than life -- both literally and metaphorically. She lived life with gusto.

But here's the deal. I think the reason women of all ages are thronging to rediscover this black-and-white TV star is this: She wasn't the "pretty" girl.

She was the 6'2" girl. The one who cleaned up "pretty good, but not great." As she and her 6'4" sister explain to husband Paul in the movie: From the beginning you're "too tall" to fit in, so you don't [bother to fit in].

Most women are told that they are "misfits" in some way -- too tall, too large, too smart, too plain, too assertive, the list goes on and on. What's so endearing and inspiring and energizing about Julia Child's story is that she wasted not a nanosecond trying to fit in. She focused her time and energy grasping for more life, despite all the cultural and paternal strictures otherwise. (Her father was a deeply disapproving conservative McCarthyite.)

Julia reminds me that the right question to ask isn't "How can I fit in?" but rather "What befits me?"

PS -- In preparation to see the movie "Julie and Julia," I read Child's own memoir, My Life in France. (You can take the girl out of academia, but you can't take academia out of the girl. I always go to the primary source. Her correspondence is next on my reading list.)

From the Dalai Lama

My dear friend Susan sent me this lovely compilation of mantra-like sayings attributed to the Dalai Lama.

Click here to see  the slide show.

I encourage you to take 60 seconds--only 60 seconds!--to click through it now. It's a quick refreshment during these dog days.

Tell me, which is your favorite? Leave your comment below.

3 Reasons to Visit Me at Balance Expo

You'll find me at booth # 239 at the Balance Expo for Women this Saturday at Austin's Palmer Events Center.

Why should you come visit me?

1. I'm introducing a new line of art work to help inspire and sustain your clarity (see the sample above). I think of these prints as "visual mantras" to keep close at hand in your work or personal space.
2. I'll personally autograph my books for you.
3. You could win a seat in my upcoming "Return to Clarity" mini-retreat for women. That's a $149 value for FREE!
   
   

Statesman Interview

Here's a lovely interview I was invited to have with the Austin American-Statesman's "Life Guide" columnist Sarah Beckham: "Balance Austin Speakers will discuss clarity, networking, more."

We talked about my upcoming appearance at the Balance Expo for Women this Saturday at Austin's Palmer Events Center.

I'll be speaking at 1:30pm, and I'll also be hosting a booth, where you'll find me signing books and introducing a new line of art work to inspire and maintain your clarity.

Also at my booth: make sure to enter a FREE raffle to win a seat in my Aug 15 "Return to Clarity" mini-retreat for women. That's a $149 value!

Do stop by to say "hi" --