April 2010 Archives

Just a quick note to remind you that the $20 discount on my Do-Over! mini-retreat for women ends this Saturday (May 1). Personally, I can never resist a good sale!

Here's what Do-Over! attendees have said about the mini-retreat:

"New girlfriends in a little piece of heaven!" - Susan

"Thank you for helping me realize that all things are possible.
The mini-retreat gave me the courage to step it up and regain my confidence" - Michelle

"Great collaborative seminar in the beautiful Hill Country" - Donna

Click here for details and registration.

CJ's Anti-Diet Do-Over!

Talk about a Do-Over! When I saw CJ Romberger after a long stretch, I walked right past her, because I didn't recognize the girl. She had lost 50 pounds, cut her hair, and lost the distance glasses.

Last week she shared her personal weight-loss system with a small and merry band of friends. Turns out, besides being a crack web designer/developer as founder of Wildwood Interactive, CJ has her coaching certification. (You may also know her as the "Gadget Girl" columnist for Austin Woman magazine.) Many of her principles and techniques make enormous sense to me as a coach, and I'd like to share a few of them here. You can use these resources for your own Do-Over!, whether you're aiming to transform your body or transform your career.

• Get clear about what you want and why
• Create an individualized process that works for you
• Design rigorous tracking and accountability structures
• Use tracking tools to detach from an emotional bond with your scale
• Use tracking as a form of observation, not judgment
  
• Take baby steps
• Identify with the behavior, not the weight
• Observe the resistance
  
• Reward yourself
  
• Fail, forgive, fix
• Get support but plan to depend on yourself
• And never say "diet"
  

CJ recommends: Martha Beck's The Four-Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace

Above: CJ used a desk calendar as part of her tracking system, in addition to spreadsheets, posters, a heart rate monitor, and the SparkPeople online community. Below: CJ rewarded herself with stickers.

What's Your Purpose?

Haley Rushing was the perfect keynoter for Austin Women in Communication's Banner Brunch on Sunday. Haley is chief purposologist (you read that right) at Austin advertising firm GSD&M and co-author of It's Not What You Sell, It's What You Stand For. She's smart, inspiring, and provided the perfect frame for AWIC's dedicated award-winners.

I interviewed Haley for my essay on purpose in Do-Over! How Women Are Reinventing Their Lives. Here's the advice that she offered to women who are seeking a purpose-driven workplace:

"If you're wondering whether or not a company has a purpose, ask them. There is a lot of power in the question: 'What's your fundamental purpose in the world?' or 'What difference are you trying to make?' If their answer begins and ends with 'make money, increase revenue, maximize profit for shareholders,' that's a good indication that the organization is not purpose-driven. On the other hand, if they come to life and begin to tell you about the values that shape their culture and the difference they're trying to make, listen up. This may be your opportunity to take up residence working for the 'good guys.'"

(Want to hear the rest of Haley's advice? Buy one copy of Do-Over! online before Mother's Day on Sunday, May 9, and I'll give you a second copy for mom FREE.)

Share Do-Over! with your Mom:
Buy One, Get One FREE

Many of you know about "My Mother, the Haufrau," the closing chapter of my new audiobook on CD, Do-Over! How Women Are Reinventing Their Lives. In this very personal essay, I remember how Claire Ann Daly, the 50s housewife par excellence, raised me to insist on life options she never had. You may have read the essay in  Austin Lifestyle Magazine (p. 76) or heard me read it at the book launch.

As a tribute to my mom, who passed away much too soon, I am giving away one free copy of Do-Over! with each one you purchase before Mother's Day (May 9). It's my way of saying "thank you" to all our moms.

How it works: Cllick here to buy one audiobook (and then click on the "Buy Now" button) and I'll send you a second copy FREE of charge.

PS -- Bring your mom to my Do-Over! mini-retreat for women on May 15. It's a great way to spend a fun girls'-day-out with your mom in Wimberley!

Equal Pay Day: How NOT to Get a Raise

Today is Equal Pay Day. Woo-hoo. On average, women still earn only 77 cents for every dollar men earn working full-time. Not much to celebrate.

I received a note from my BFF Melita a while ago, in response to my blogpost on "The Top 10 Unwritten Rules That Could Sabotage Your Career." I have been saving it for this occasion, because it's an instructive and cautionary tale for all of us:

The 'Rules' essay reminds me that I waited for a raise and a promotion, anticipating that hard work would produce them. Competition for available money within a department is always an issue, but when another woman who wasn't nearly as good as I am received a raise and a promotion, I was shocked. Well, I shot off an email to my boss and her boss saying:

"I am very frustrated and discouraged by the announcement of the latest promotions. Now that I will be with this group five years in April, what more do I have to do to get promoted to Principal Labeling Coordinator?  I look forward to meeting with you to discuss my options."

It worked -- I got my raise and a promotion. But it lacked the elation that I got less than three years later when I got another raise and a promotion without asking for it.  In my case, I see your rules 5, 7, and 8 in play here!!  Very interesting.

But there's MORE! I heard from BFF Melita again within a matter of days of that first email:

Now here's the topper! Just yesterday I was called into the office and told that our company is doing a salary evaluation versus the industry standards for all positions in the company and making appropriate adjustments. Well, I got another raise. Within two months I got a total of a 13% salary increase. While I really appreciate the raises and know these are difficult financial times, I also must come to grips with having been underpaid for years. Many of my colleagues also got this "adjustment." I'm sure that they, like I, feel that this is a good company, we like our jobs, and we've all worked really well together for years.

So, it comes down to priorities and knowing when to speak up or look outward. Bottom line, I learned not to wait five years to promote myself in a firm manner. But I do indeed work with good people who are now getting duly compensated by a good company. I'll stick around, continue to work hard, enjoy the paychecks, and keep my own eye on the industry standards!

CLARITY: HOW TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT MATTERS MOST

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Offer good until May 1.

What Is Failure, Anyway?

I have to admit, I'm a little stymied by "fear of failure." I myself have always been so driven by desire that I just don't have the time or space to focus on anything else like the worst-case scenario.

So I asked my Facebook friends, "What exactly does failure mean, anyway?" The responses were so wise--check them out:

photo by meddygarnet

Give Yourself Permission

Oftentimes the greater part of a successful Do-Over! is simply giving yourself permission to take it.

So as part of my Do-Over! mini-retreat for women (the next one is coming up on May 15), I ask participants to fill a page finishing this sentence:

It's okay for me to take a Do-Over! because . . .

Here are a few of the answers we came up with at our mini-retreat a few weeks ago:

I deserve the best for myself
Life is too short
You only live once
My partner will be happier when I am happier
I'll like myself more
It will make me a more vibrant person, more fun and full of joy
I have great things to do and new things to learn
If I don't, I'll be squandering my talent, education, and upbringing

How would you finish that sentence?

Take a Risk!

I was happy to see fellow women's advocate Elissa Sangster featured in the recent issue of Women for Hire magazine. As executive director of Forte Foundation, Elissa does important work encouraging women to pursue business careers and education. As part of the "20 over 30" section, she offers wisdom worth repeating, whether you're looking to pursue business or a new relationship.

Too many women, Elissa observes, "don't take a risk in their personal and professional lives. Women need to be more confident and push themselves to try something new and different. If you're not sure what to do, find someone who pushes and encourages you."