April 2011 Archives

What's not to admire about Joanna Barsh? Not only is she smart. Not only has she devoted her career at consulting giant McKinsey & Company to accelerating the development of women leaders. What's more, she's still an active learner, and happy to share her own lessons learned.

When I asked her in a recent interview about women's general reluctance to partake in the give-and-take ("reciprocity") of workplace politics, she used herself as an example of how we can work through our reluctance to informal networking:

I am a painfully shy introvert. In one of our leadership workshops in 2009, I voiced a frightening thing, that "I don't want to meet with people because they are going to hurt me." It's all about making your mindset explicit. When I did that, I was reassured, "You'll prevent that from happening, or you'll bounce back from it." I was able to shift my mindset to: "I'm excited to meet them because I'm bringing a gift and they will open their arms to me." It defanged them for me. I'm no longer afraid. I consider it a mutual learning experience, so I walk in as a peer. Your mindset decides how you walk in, sit, and talk.

As co-author of McKinsey's recent report on women in the workplace, Barsh has been vocal in supporting the kind of on-the-ground strategies (coaching, leadership training, job rotations) that women themselves can take in hand, instead of waiting for the latest top-down corporate initiative that may or may not succeed.


While a man is admired for his strength, Barsh reminds us, a woman may be labelled a bitch. "Women need effective strategies." A director in McKinsey's New York office, she is the co-author (with Susie Cranston and Geoffrey Lewis) of a terrific book, How Remarkable Women Lead.

Coaching works, she says, because it helps women gain the self-awareness that is the essential first step to claiming their own power. "On day two or three of one of our Centered Leadership workshops, a woman got up and said, 'Joanna, you used the word 'power.' You've given me permission to be powerful. I'm so excited!"

How does power happen? Barsh sees a clear pathway:

1. Increase your self-awareness
2. Shift your mindset
3. Master the requisite skills and techniques
4. Enact new behavior

What follows, she says, are promotions, happiness, and a sense of contribution.

A coach helps all along the way, says Barsh, by:

• seeing the strengths and weaknesses you may not see yourself
  
• developing your "internal calibration"
• offering encouragement

Barsh's research among advanced leaders shows no gender differences. Those women and men, she says, share leadership effectiveness and ability. "If  you learn self-awareness and personal mastery in pursuit of a vision, you're going to get there. There's no innate reason why a woman can't."

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Now, the first thing I need to say here is what I'm NOT saying. I'm NOT saying that "women are different." (BTW, why doesn't anyone ever say that "men are different"?)

Men and women are not different. Our expectations of men and women are different.

And it's those expectations that create the context (eg, the "unwritten rules") for women in the workforce. We can't coach women to fulfill their potential and their ambition unless we understand that it's still not a level playing field out there. We live in a culture where power still defaults to the men in the room--it's subtle, but true.

Last time, I wrote about the top 10 reasons why coaching works for women in the corporate workplace, prompted by McKinsey & Company's new report about women in the US economy. Co-author Joanna Barsh has recommended coaching as a strategy to help women move up out of middle management, where so many women get stuck.

Barsh, a director in McKinsey's New York office, rightly turns our attention from top-down corporate initiatives to the kind of on-the-ground professional development that individual women can achieve when they work with a personal coach.

After seven years as a coach, here's what I know is different about effectively coaching women:

1.  Actually, it IS personal.

It's not women who were traditionally defined as the family "breadwinner." Therefore, work has not been prescribed for them as "bringing home the bacon." Work isn't just a function or a game for them; it's a meaningful expression of a life, a self. That connection needs to be taken into account during any significant career development process.

2.  Beware perfectionism.

Someone once asked me in a Q-and-A session about holding my clients accountable. I had to laugh. I have the opposite challenge. Women, positioned as "the other" (as in "women are different" and "the opposite sex"), are more highly and routinely scrutinized. They have a much narrower margin for error. The result: a drive to perfectionism. I don't need to hold my clients' feet to the fire; I need to help them let go of a debilitating defense mechanism.

3.  A little goes a long way.

No need to use a sledgehammer. Women are pretty open to acknowledging what's going on and their contribution to it. Especially when they understand that they and their behaviors are enmeshed in a larger system. For example, why don't women "ask for it"? It's not because they are shy, or weak, or unequipped--although that's what women are told. It's because they're smart. They know that there is a price to pay for being an assertive woman. Learning how to negotiate that double-bind with both a sense of power and calculated risk is a game-changer.

4.  Ambivalence does not equal resistance.

Coaches are always on the lookout for points of resistance, because they are powerful levers of change. Without the burden of having to be dominant and declaratory, women have the luxury to consider and reconsider. This apparent ambivalence must not be mistaken as resistance. It's simply good sense.

5.  It's still a man's world.

Enough said.

Next time: McKinsey director Joanna Barsh talks about women, ambition, and coaching.

When McKinsey & Company's Joanna Barsh talked to the Wall Street Journal about the new report she co-authored on women in the US economy, she recommended coaching as a strategy to help women move up out of middle management.

Barsh, a director in McKinsey's New York office, rightly turns our attention from top-down corporate initiatives to the kind of on-the-ground professional development that individual women can achieve when they work with a personal coach.


Coaching works for corporate women who want to turn their ambitions into promotions. As a coach, I've seen it work. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. It's private, safe, and low-risk.
   
2. A coach makes sure that the tough questions get asked, and answered.
   
3. It's one thing to take a workshop (on business development or leadership, for example); it's another thing to actually apply and master those principles.
4. Learning is more effective with a learning partner.
5. Coaching acknowledges anxiety and fear and then neutralizes them.
6. The coaching process provides an ongoing structure that makes it easier to sustain learning and growth.
7. Coaching provides a neutral perspective, independent of workplace drama.
8. All assumptions get tested.
9. Coaching is a place where the cultural complexity (read: double-bind) of a woman's position in the workplace can be acknowledged and managed.
   
10. The deep engagement of coaching produces deeply internalized, long-term professional development.

Next time: What's different about coaching women.

As a coach, I will beg, borrow, or steal whatever strategy will help my clients make that needed shift. Most recently, when one of my fave coaching clients was facing a particularly challenging work situation, I called upon our mutual fascination with Kalinda, the femme fatale private investigator on "The Good Wife" (CBS). What, I asked, would Kalinda do? Ever since then, my client has been, as she says, "channeling her inner Kalinda." And, I'm happy to report, she has successfully made her shift. Owning her power, she is focused now on what matters most to her, and not distracted by anybody else's agenda.

There's something about Kalinda, played by Emmy-Award winning actress Archie Panjabi, that has captured our female imaginations. The character is smart, sexy, intriguing, and oh-so-cunning. Powerful, and maybe even dangerous. Here's what I've learned from Kalinda:

1. Never let them see you sweat.
2. Don't just beat 'em, outsmart 'em.
3. Master the art of the ask.
4. Flinching is for sissies.
5. Maintain a killer network.
6. Keep them guessing.
7. Write it down (love her notebook!).
8. Leverage all your assets, even your charm.
9. Choose a trademark accessory, preferably in leather.
10. Speak softly and carry a big bat.

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Power. It's how we light the night sky, propel our cars, and fire up our computers.

And it's how we make our mark on the world. Because power is simply our capacity to make things happen. Whether that's finding a cure for cancer or educating our children.

It's all too easy to give away our power, little bit by little bit, carelessly. As women, we're pressured to believe that we have to choose between being powerful and being nice. That's a false dichotomy.

This month, take back your power. Here are 10 easy ways to begin:

1. Just say 'No.'
2. Turn off the digital alerts.
3. Ask for something you want.
4. Watch "The Good Wife" (CBS, Tuesday evenings).
5. Write, or update, your bucket list.
6. Steal an hour for yourself.
7. Step up your exercise routine.
8. Make a tough decision.
9. Let go of one outworn obligation.
10. State your opinion.

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