September 2011 Archives

Back to school!

It's a rallying cry we usually associate with kids' backpacks and notebooks, but don't forget about the grownups. More and more, working women are heading back to school to upgrade their skillsets and resumes with an advanced degree.

In fact, this fall a record number of women will be entering two of the country's top MBA programs-the Harvard Business School and the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School. Women will make up 39% of Harvard's class of 2013, and at Wharton, women will represent 45% of the incoming class.

Those happy numbers are the result of national efforts by groups such as the Forté Foundation, a consortium that advocates the MBA as a career-advancement and leadership-development strategy for women.

That said, a concurrent MBA - attending classes while keeping your job - isn't for everyone. "If you're looking for career advancement within your current company or within the same industry, the part-time/executive route is a good option," advises Elissa Sangster, Forté's executive director. "But if you are looking to change your career or industry, I highly recommend taking the full-time route."

The pay-off for a concurrent MBA is big. "You get your education while continuing your career progression and drawing a salary."

But there's also a downside, Sangster adds: "Your life will be very complicated."

So, how to minimize those complications? Here's what Sangster recommends:

1. Explain why.
Learn how to communicate to supporters and skeptics alike exactly why it's important for you to get your MBA. Repeat that message as often and as patiently as necessary.

2. Decide what is a necessity and what is expendable.
For example: Does the house need to be spotless? Do you need to volunteer as chair of the annual fundraiser for the third year in a row?

3. Build your support system.
For those activities that make the cut, how will you outsource or supplement them? Who will do them, when, and how? Put processes and structures into place ahead of time.

4. Get buy-in from your boss.
Make sure you have the full support of your boss, which means that s/he is willing to give you the necessary accommodations.

5. Be upfront with your co-workers.
Your co-workers might not always be supportive - especially if your performance is impacted. Be upfront about expectations, and be careful not to over-promise. Meet all your deadlines.

6. Just do it!
Don't let demands from family and friends end up being an excuse for why you can't go back to school. If this is your passion, then make it happen. Figure out what you need and then tell everyone what you need. Family and true friends will rally behind you to see you succeed!

7. Take advantage of Forte's online resources.
The Forte website is filled with women who can provide you with inspiration and webinars that can provide you with more tips and strategies.

And if you're still on the fence about enrolling for your MBA, learn more at a Forté Forum, a series of live events being held across the country this month. You'll find out how an MBA can help you can find your passion, open doors, and present opportunities you never knew existed. Click here for the Forté Forum schedule.

photo by Herkie

I was so honored to keynote the very first event fundraiser held by Empowering Women as Leaders in Dallas. (My talk: "Can You See Me Now? A Women's Guide to Career Advancement.") Not only did we raise lots of $$$ for women's scholarships--we also had a ton of fun. Yummy chocolates and martinis!

At the end of the day, my coaching is about helping women make choices. That's the point of increasing self-awareness, identifying options, and building skills: to make a choice, and implement it.

That's not as easy as it sounds, especially when you're been raised to be a "nice girl."

In their book, Nice Girls Just Don't Get It, Lois P. Frankel PhD and Carol Frohlinger PhD take the nice girls to task for failing to make their own choices. "Nice girls don't proactively make choices for themselves," they write, "because they are unduly influenced by the choices that others have made for them."

It's a challenge to make your own choices when you haven't built the skills and made the trial-and-error mistakes that come from experience. Here's what Frankel and Frohlinger recommend you try:

1. See choices as opportunities to make your life what you want it to be.
2. Don't limit your choices to yes or no.
3. Don't apologize for the choices you make.
4. Unless your choice is irrevocable, give yourself permission to change your mind.

Go ahead, have some fun. Decide to be a profligate choice-maker today. Big, small, see every opportunity to make an intentional choice--with a flourish! Once you get the hang of it, you'll enjoy the power that comes from making your own choices.

For more life-coaching advice, sign up for my free "Clarity" eletter. Just click here!

I met Beth Oliver when she attended one of my Wimberley retreats. She immediately revealed herself as a delight and inspiration. Recently she published an open letter to her niece and nephews in a new book entitled Leaders & Legends. Graciously, Beth agreed to share her wisdom about life choices with us here. I hope you'll consider passing it along to the young people in your life. I know my nephews will be receiving the link.

Dear Benjamin, Abby, and Sammy,

What grand, exciting lives you have ahead of you. I adored your grandfather, my big brother, who died of a brain tumor before you were born. I wish he were still alive to guide you and share his knowledge with you. Since he's not, I thought I would share with you a some of the wisdom I have gleaned.

Your lives will be full of choices. Hard choices and easy choices. Most people focus on what to do in a particular situation. What is more important is who you are being when you make the choice. Make each decision based on being the person you want to become. That is often more important than the actual choice itself.

1. Relish the moments. Today is all we have. Don't mentally put your life on hold, thinking: when I grow up, when I get out of college, when I get a job, when I make a lot of money--then I will be happy. Decide to be happy right now, right where you are. Focus on having experiences--not things.

2. Be intellectually curious. Keep learning. Read books. Visit museums. Watch foreign films. Ask questions. Take classes. We live in a marvelous world with fascinating cultures and peoples and ideas. Put aside judgment and be open to possibilities.

3. Concentrate on the things you love. Too often we spend our time worrying over the oughts and shoulds. I should get more exercise. I ought to go on a diet. Give yourself permission to do what you love.

4. Listen to your intuition. Trust your inner voice. If your gut is telling you something is not right, then believe it. Act on it. Don't let anyone talk you out of it.

5. Be enthusiastic. Be joyful. Be grateful. Throw yourself body and soul into every endeavor. No matter how simple or how difficult the task, do it with gusto. My first job was being a clerk in your great-grandfather's store. I wanted to be the very best clerk he had ever had.

6. Dream big dreams. Be bold. Take risks. Set audacious goals. Give yourself permission to try things and fail. Try out for the school play. Run for office. Give a speech.

7. Forgive yourself each day. Actress Kitty Carlisle said once that each night she looked in the mirror and forgave herself for all the mistakes she had made that day. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, because you never will be. Also, forgive your parents, your teachers, your boss.... They aren't perfect either. Just forgive them and let it go.

8. Look for the lesson when bad things happen. When you are betrayed or wronged, when you are fired, when your heart is broken, search for the gift in the bleakness. Somewhere in the despair is an opportunity for creativity, for growth, for learning, and for a new beginning.

9. Don't give away your power. If what someone says about you can ruin your day, then you are giving her/him your power. If a situation can make you miserable, then you are giving it your power. Stay centered and calm in adversity. Only you can control your actions, reactions, and your serenity.

10. Make freedom a core value. Recognize that you always have choices. If something isn't working in your life, choose again. Choose a new major. Choose another career. Choose a different life. Choose to be debt-free. Choose to double your income. Choose financial freedom. The choice is yours. It is your gift to yourself.

There are many other lessons, but you will learn them as you go. In The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell wrote: "the adventure that the hero is ready for is the one he [sic] gets." You are the hero in your own life, so get ready.

With all my love,
Aunt Beth

(Next time: how nice girls can make better choices.)

Join me in welcoming guest blogger Lillian Hunter! Lillian has been: single mother to four children (aged 17 to 32) for most of their lives, full-time caregiver for a terminally ill husband, victim of spousal abuse, parent to two adolescents addicted to alcohol and drugs, divorcee, stepmother, widow, breadwinner, attorney, judge, and seeker of spirituality.

I have been contemplating a career move for quite some time. (Who isn't these days?)

In what I have always thought to be a responsible way of dealing with such a huge change, I started envisioning and evaluating the consequences of such a change. It's good to evaluate the pros and cons.

However, because I have recently been working on being more self-aware regarding the way I deal with things and the messages I send myself, I realized that I only evaluate the cons. My internal dialogue is peppered with "What If's?"

For example: What if I don't like the change? What if I fail at the new venture? What if I am doing right now what is best for me? What if . . . ?

I have really started to dislike those two words. For me they seem to be the embodiment of negativity. I rarely say, "What If I am really happy at my new venture?" or "What if I am a huge success?" The words seem to naturally be followed by a negative statement.

As I contemplate this huge change in my life, I have decided to banish those two words from my vocabulary and my mind. When I use them I am lamenting some long past choice that I made and wondering if it was the "right" choice or imaging a negative future. I don't want to devote my time and energy to either of those ventures.

Traveling down the road of "What if?" is a dead end. Is it the same for you?

(Click here to read more from Lillian's blog, "The Roads Not Travelled.")

graphic by barbourians

Last week's compilation of career advice from leading Dallas businesswomen was a hit, so today I'm offering you a sequel:

DO know what you know and what you don't know. It's not always easy to admit that you don't know something, but I view it as an opportunity to learn from someone who is an expert.
DON'T be a micro-manager. The key here is to feel comfortable that you hired smart people and let them do their jobs.
Telisa Webb Schelin
Senior Vice President--Legal, General Counsel and Secretary
Behringer Harvard REIT I, Inc.

DO build alliances and networks to keep you informed and build partnerships.
DO be yourself. Let your personality and spirit be evident. It demonstrates confidence.
DO pay it forward. Build a reputation as someone who helps others, builds careers, and makes great things happen.
DO demonstrate excellence. Only commit if you are in with both feet for 100%.
DO 'take the stage' when you need to. You can't be a great leader if you are always behind the scenes.
DO show enthusiasm for what you want to do. No one will follow if you aren't excited about the possibilities.
DON'T be more concerned about being right than being a trusted partner.
DON'T take credit for everything your team does. It will hurt you in the long run, and it's not the right thing to do.
DON'T make career decisions based solely on who your boss will be, unless the rest of it works, too.
DON'T forget to stay connected externally to learn, to get exposure to other organizations, and to cultivate an outside network for managing your career.
Patti Johnson
CEO, PeopleResults

Don't you want to meet these wise women? You can! Join them, and me, on September 15 for the inaugural fundraiser by Empowering Women as Leaders. You will:

• network with extraordinary businesswomen
• learn my strategies for maximizing your executive presence
• raise money for women's scholarships

 Click here to buy your ticket!