Please forgive me, dear reader! I've been much remiss in my recent correspondence, and I do apologize here. Rest reassured, it is not personal. My attention these past few months has been seduced by my new ad/venture: WomenAdvance.com. I am quietly launching this new online resource center for ambitious career women, and I invite you to take a look! In the coming months I'll share all the news about how it proceeds . . .

I just burned a CD for a dear BFF with highlights from my own personal Do-Over! playlist. And then I thought: you might want to assemble it for yourself. These tunes always rev me up for the next challenge...

Already Gone (The Eagles)
What a Feeling (Irene Cara)
I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)
Wide Open Spaces (Dixie Chicks)
Blue Clear Sky (George Strait)
Blame It On Your Heart (Patti Loveless)
Back in the High Life Again (Steve Winwood)
Born to Run (Bruce Sprinsteen)
Don't Stop Til You Get Enough (Michel Jackson)

PS--These songs, on full blast, can always buy me an extra 15 minutes on the treadmill.

My New Year's tradition is a day of complimentary mini-coaching for my clients. I love to catch up with my girls! It's the most inspiring and energizing way I can imagine to launch myself into the new year.

Today was no different. And three of my clients' updates were so terrific that I want to share them with you here. I hope they help you to envision the full range of your career advancement options for 2012.

So here are three New Year's stories. All of them from lawyers, coincidentally . . .

Story no. 1. Julie.
After a two-year transition period, Julie is set to hang out her own shingle in January, after a number of dissatisfying years working for Big Law. She spent those transitional years considering each and every one of her options. Nothing impulsive. Now she is about to launch her own law practice, with an initial client already lined up. I admire both her patience (it's hard to stick around in a job that's lost all its appeal) and persistence (she never sunk back into "the devil you know" thinking). Julie did the work, and the work has paid off. I know she'll be outlandishly successful as her own boss--on her own terms.

Story no. 2. Tina.
Little over a year ago, as Big Law was feeling the worst of the recession, Tina was let go from her law firm. She had been utterly miserable with the firm, and she had already explored her other options, entrepreneurial ones in particular. In order to make ends meet, Tina landed some temporary contract work with another law firm, and when that project was over, the firm kept her on for another one. And when she received a job offer in the public sector, the firm couldn't bear to see her leave. She joined the firm full-time. Tina's voice these days is full of joy. She tells me how wonderful it is to work with people who appreciate her talent, and tell her so. Often. Barely a year later, she has been made partner! Tina reminds us all that, just because your current situation isn't ideal, or satisfactory, or bearable, it doesn't mean that it's your only option. There are as many corporate cultures out there as there are corporations. It's all about the fit, and don't settle for an uncomfortable fit. I know Tina won't, ever again.

Story no. 3. Sharon.
Sharon is an incredibly talented lawyer, acknowledged by her peers, working at a boutique firm. Unfortunately, her bosses don't often acknowledge her talent and success, and there's a fair amount of dysfunction there. After a pretty brutal episode several months ago, Sharon spent an extended period "on the road," visiting clients. They held up to her a different mirror than the one she sees in the office. Today she sounded self-possessed, ready to let go of the firm drama. "I want to be fearless again," she declared. And then she added (never having lost her sense of humor), "somewhere between fearless and foolish." Sharon realizes that she can reclaim her power by focusing on what she does control--building her book of business and continuing to deliver excellent service to her clients. By shifting her focus and her attitude, Sharon has unilaterally changed her environment.

Wishing you success in 2012--on your own terms!

As one of my new, beginning-of-the-year coaching clients wrote to me, "2012 will be the year!" Whatever your professional goals, don't overlook the power of reading as a career advancement tool. Here are my top-10 favorite career advancement titles for women. That's only one book a month, with time off for the summer . . .

How Remarkable Women Lead: the Breakthrough Model for Work and Life, by Joanna Barsh & Susie Crantson

Suits: A Woman on Wall Street, by Nina Godiwalla

Be Heard the First Time! The Woman's Guide to Powerful Speaking, by Susan Miller

Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want, by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever

She Wins, You Win: The Most Important Rule Every Businesswoman Needs to Know, by Gail Evans

Tough Choices: A Memoir, by Carly Fiorina

Nice Girls Just Don't Get It: 99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You've Earned, and the Life You Want, by Lois P. Frankel and Carol Frohlinger

No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think about Power, by Gloria Feldt

Through the Labyrinth: The Truth about How Women Become Leaders, by Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli

Working Identity: Unconventional Strategies for Reinventing Your Career, by Herminia Ibarra

Tell me, what titles would you add to the list?

(PS -- I serve as an Amazon affiliate.)

As a university professor for nearly two decades, awarding scholarships and awards was definitely one of the best parts of the job. Now I'm honored to serve on the panel of judges for Talbots Charitable Foundation Scholarship Program.

The Talbots Scholarship program is changing women's lives by empowering them to fulfill their dreams. Since 1997, it has supported women who are ready to start a new chapter in their lives by granting scholarships for a college education later in life. Recipients have embodied courage, conviction, and an insatiable entrepreneurial spirit.

Many applicants come from disadvantaged backgrounds, or have overcome personal hardships and are looking to turn their lives in a new direction. Among past recipients--a lawyer, human rights activist, and substance abuse counselor.

So let's spread the word!

This year Talbots will be awarding $200,000 in scholarships, including seventeen $10,000 awards and one $30,000 Nancy Talbots Scholarship.

Applications are due by January 3, 2012. Click here to apply.

PLEASE! Help get the word out by sharing this post.

I can't resist sharing this story with you. It's by "Mary," a coaching client who's developing her platform as a rock star tech exec to become an industry thought-leader. After you read it, you'll know why she's destined to write a best-selling biz book!

"While at a conference recently near our Corporate HQ, I was called into an important high-level meeting. My colleagues in finance were quite worried about the meeting, because operations was being "called to the carpet" on some policies. I assured them that data was on our side; nevertheless, they pushed for me to attend the meeting. At first, I was thinking I would call-in. Then I reconsidered: this was an opportunity to rub elbows with senior leaders in my internal customer organization.

Because I was attending the nearby conference, I was in a black suit--not the normal wear for my high tech company. Over the 11 years I've been here, the dress code continues to become more casual. So, into the meeting I went, in black suit, data in hand. What was to be a highly contentious meeting turned into a rather tame question-and-answer session where we showed our data, and our customer was ultimately impressed.

The two tipping points? Black suit, and being there in person! It is truly amazing how smart you are in a black suit.

What did I learn? Not only do clothes persuade those around you that you know what you are doing and talking about, but you also feel it from the inside out.

I plan to take another look at my wardrobe and plan ahead when important meetings are on the calendar. In general, I'm going to dress more tailored, with a better defined style, on a more regular basis. Not just for the outward perception, but for how it makes me feel . . . You really are smarter in a black suit!"

Here's the news from our guest blogger, the intrepid life-journeywoman Lillian Hunter:

I picked it up and looked at it. I wanted to put it back down, but I couldn't. I dread reading any of them, but I am drawn like a moth to the flame. Whether it's published in Austin Woman, New York Times, or Austin American-Statesman, the "successful woman" article brings up unpleasant emotions for me.

You know you read them, too. Each one begins something like this: "Nancy Smith was recently promoted to CEO of the Big-Name global corporation." That's followed by a glowing biography or glorified resume chock full of amazing credentials. You get a photo, and then an interview or announcement--or both! Nancy tells us something like, "I started out as a file clerk, and now I am CEO of this Big-Name global corporation."

I would like to say I celebrate the success of women like Nancy, but, if I'm honest, I don't. Mostly, I just feel inadequate. I compare where I am in my career with where she is in her career, and it's clear: I have failed.

Why do I let Nancy's success make me feel inferior? Some of it is cultural. We are bombarded with stories of "success," and we glorify those who are materially successful. They're the ones who get the accolades and respect in the news and community.

How do I come to terms with where I am? I don't think I am less smart or less energetic than Nancy. But I am less ambitious. I'd love to have the money and prestige, but I wouldn't want to do the work it takes to get there or to maintain that standing. It takes too much intense energy and sacrifice.

If I had been more conscious of my career choices when I was young, I would be more satisfied with where I am now. But when I was young, my professional goals were largely unconscious. I saw my career as a way to support my family, and nothing more. Looking back, I see that I accomplished exactly what I set out to do. Nothing more, nothing less. I stuck to my original goal, I achieved what I set out to do, and now I'm unhappy with that achievement.

Perhaps I should have been more careful in setting my goals or revisited my goals as time went on, but I didn't. I missed out on professional opportunities along the way, because I didn't make them a priority. Maybe it was my generation. It was OK for us women to work outside the home to support a family, but nothing more.

I am never going to reach Nancy's heights in the business world. I am working on coming to terms with that fact. I'll let you know how that goes. In the meantime, I am going to celebrate other people's success. It's a good place to start.

Moreover, I am going to set some new goals for myself, whatever they may be. And I'll start celebrating my own success, even though it may never sound like a "successful woman" article in the New York Times.

(Click here to read more from Lillian's blog, "The Roads Not Travelled.")

I had a blast at the annual Women in Business Leadership Conference at the UT McCombs School of Business, where I presented my seminar on "Top 10 Unwritten Rules That Can Sabotage a Woman's Career." What smart, vibrant, and creative women these MBA students are!

Dianne H. Eldridge, one such McCombs MBA student, actually a recent grad from Houston, sent me the "day in the life" diary that she wrote for the program's new student survival guide. If you're considering an MBA program, here's a taste of what it's like. (Makes me wistful for my own grad school days--some of my life's best.)

"A Day in the Life of a Working Professional MBA"
by Dianne H. Eldridge, MBA '11, UT Houston

6:00 am

Radio Alarm off to NPR news while I continue to lie in bed with iPhone in hand.  Check 1) work email - in case any urgent issues from overseas offices arrived overnight; 2) personal email; 3) Facebook

6:15 am

Get every body else up in the house including 1 husband, 2 children, and 1 yellow Labrador

6:45 am

Every body is showered, dressed, brushed, packed with snack and out the door - due to multiple incidences of missing sneakers during morning dash, all people under 18 have a back up pair at the door to avoid missing school bus scenarios.

7:00 am

Sit down in my home office and start working - today is class weekend Friday.  I normally work from home in the morning and pack up to go to school in the afternoon.

7:30am

Walk over to my 4th grade daughter's school for a scheduled parent-teacher conference- she's doing great according to the teachers!  Woohoo!!

8:15am

Back to home office and prepare for a quick conference call with Asia office - we are wrapping up some pricing/term issues with a project bid. The bid is due next Tuesday.

9:00 am

Call Houston office to check on my team.  One of my engineers is getting married and today is his last day in the office as a bachelor.  Wish him best of luck and assure him as long as he let his lady to be the boss, life would be grand.

10:00 am

No burning issues at work; Time to prepare for Strategy class from Professor Fredrickson and review the cases we'd be discussing in class today - he cold calls us to start the case and ask for our recommendations.  I have not been called so far so it could happen any time now! The two cases we will be discussing today are "Southwest Airline" and "Cleveland Twist Drill"

12:30 pm

Walk over to daughter's elementary school and perform my volunteer duty as one of the science lab leaders.  Kids love to have their parents in the lab!

2:00 pm

Back home and packed up for school and overnight bag.  Most of my classmates chose the residential component school offered on Friday nights.  We all stay at Hotel ZaZa and these fun Friday nights are honestly one of the highlights of my MBA life!

3:00 pm

Arrive at UT Houston campus and I have about an hour to have some snack and catch up with classmates before class starts at 4pm. This is the best time for news. Today's highlights are a new engagement, an expecting farther found out he's having a boy, and updates on 2nd or 3rd rounds of interviews through On Campus Recruiting!

4:00 pm

Strategy class!! Why is Southwest so successful? Is it the right move for Cleveland Drill's new CEO to fire 80% of the old management within 7 months on the job? Apparently, I am one of the 3 people in the whole class agree with the CEO's move!

8:00 pm

Fun class and it goes by fast!  While most people attending the briefing on MBA+ program on communication coaching, I go to the very first McCombs Admissions Committee (MAC) training.  Yes, I have volunteered to be in this committee in hope to offer assistance to new applicants and new students.  Shannon ran a tight ship and I am sure this will be a valuable experience and opportunity to meet people!

8:40 pm

MAC training is over and I caught the last part of the communication program briefing. 

9: 00pm

Quick drive from campus to the hotel.  Checked in and changed into jeans.  Called home to check in with family and say good night to the kids.

9:25 pm

Meet up with friends at the lobby.   Both class of  11' and 12' are having a joint event tonight at Bodegas Taco Shop down the street from the hotel

9:40 pm

Friends, laughter, margaritas, chips and salsa... need I say more? Some pictures with questionable poses are taken and will be posted on Facebook for all to laugh about in the next few days.

Unspecified hour

Bed time! Tomorrow, we are facing 4 hours of Marketing with Professor Williams and 4 hours of Finance with Professor Almazan. Not looking forward to having Finance in the last 4 afternoon hours of the weekend!  All in all, a very fun productive day for a full-time-student-full-time-working-mom-of-two!!

photo by SCA Svenska Cellulosa Aktiebolaget
 

Here's the news from our guest blogger, the intrepid life-journeywoman Lillian Hunter:

"I have never worked a day in my life," my uncle told me. He had just retired, after 40-plus years spent as a pharmaceutical research scientist. It took me a minute to catch on to what he was saying.

Recalling that statement still takes my breath away. Why?

I have never felt anything close to that kind of career satisfaction or fulfillment. My experiences have caused me to subscribe to the philosophy that it is called "work" rather than "fun" because it is something that we have to force ourselves to do.

So I looked up the word "work" in the dictionary. It is defined as: "exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil." That certainly doesn't meet my definition of fun.

My uncle's remark prompted me to consider: Why haven't I had any such feelings? What if I had chosen a different career? What if I had spent more time looking for the "perfect" job rather than settling for what I could get? Did I simply fail to choose a career that matches my interests and talents? Was I just unlucky?

I realize that I chose my career at a young age when I really had no idea what I was doing. In fact, I made most of my critical life decisions when I had no idea what I was doing--who to marry, whether to have children, how many and when, what to do for a living.

I once heard a successful vintner say that the most important decisions we make in our lives are "who we marry and what we do for a living." I tend to agree. Those decisions shape our lives in many unintended ways, especially when we are young. Even if we change careers or spouses later in life, we carry some remnants or residue of those decisions with us for the remainder of our lives.

So I have to wonder: What can I do about my career dissatisfaction at this point in my life? Certainly some sound career advice would be key to improving things. But I believe that understanding why and how I got to this place is also important.

So I will be journeying down the "What if's" of my career path. I will be going back over the choices that brought me here, in the hopes that it will help me come to terms with where I am now and serve as a guide for charting a better path for the future.

I would love to experience my uncle's sense of job fulfillment--or at least something more fulfilling than I have now. I don't want to be one of those people who squander years regretting their past decisions while blaming or berating others or themselves for their current unhappy situation.

In better economic times, I might simply have found a better job or career and avoided this journey altogether. But these days there are few opportunities to switch careers or jobs. Journeying into the past may be the best way, for now, to gain some insight into my professional unhappiness and to develop a better attitude. I'll keep you posted . . .

(Click here to read more from Lillian's blog, "The Roads Not Travelled.")

This comes under the heading of: "I couldn't have said it better." From Fast Company's November letters-to-the-editor page:

"I was glad to see statistics about women in the workforce included in the September issue. However, the graphic accompanying the article had inappropriate icons from what seems to be another decade. The image shows a woman at a sewing machine with the label 'Women's share of the labor force.' Attitudes about stereotypical gender roles are part of workplace discrimination and contribute to women's likelihood to be hired less, promoted less, and paid less than men. I hope the visuals in future articles will be in concert with the times and with what I suspect is Fast Company's attitude toward working women."

Thank you, Chloe Reynolds!