Join me in welcoming guest blogger Lillian Hunter! Lillian has been: single mother to four children (aged 17 to 32) for most of their lives, full-time caregiver for a terminally ill husband, victim of spousal abuse, parent to two adolescents addicted to alcohol and drugs, divorcee, stepmother, widow, breadwinner, attorney, judge, and seeker of spirituality.
I have been contemplating a career move for quite some time. (Who isn’t these days?)
In what I have always thought to be a responsible way of dealing with such a huge change, I started envisioning and evaluating the consequences of such a change. It’s good to evaluate the pros and cons.
However, because I have recently been working on being more self-aware regarding the way I deal with things and the messages I send myself, I realized that I only evaluate the cons. My internal dialogue is peppered with “What If’s?”
For example: What if I don’t like the change? What if I fail at the new venture? What if I am doing right now what is best for me? What if . . . ?
I have really started to dislike those two words. For me they seem to be the embodiment of negativity. I rarely say, “What If I am really happy at my new venture?” or “What if I am a huge success?” The words seem to naturally be followed by a negative statement.
As I contemplate this huge change in my life, I have decided to banish those two words from my vocabulary and my mind. When I use them I am lamenting some long past choice that I made and wondering if it was the “right” choice or imaging a negative future. I don’t want to devote my time and energy to either of those ventures.
Traveling down the road of “What if?” is a dead end. Is it the same for you?
(Click here to read more from Lillian’s blog, “The Roads Not Travelled.”)
graphic by barbourians